*Section 2 – Kingdom Conduct

Fourteen- God Values Marriage

“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 5:31-32).

Surely a few faces turned red and several took defensive stances when Jesus began speaking out against divorce. By the time Rome ruled over Israel, the Jewish religious leaders, the Pharisees, were more concerned with how to acceptably justify divorce than they were inclined to stand against it. The Lord’s primary concern in covering this topic was to uphold the sanctity of marriage. While many of His day invented rational excuses to dispose of a partner, Jesus gave scriptural evidence supporting the idea that God intended marriage a life-long pact:

“Some Pharisees … asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries nother woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:3-9).

In the Old Testament, divorce was allowed in extreme cases of marital unfaithfulness—making provision for those who suffered adultery or abandonment. The Pharisees, however, twisted Moses’ word regarding marriage into a command that allowed marital annulment for any and every reason (Matthew 19:7). For example, a man could forever dismiss his wife if she merely burned his dinner. Should the husband one day consider his wife less-than-attractive, he could send her packing. Even if the wife lived blamelessly, he could set her aside to follow his attraction for another woman. These liberal interpretations completely
ignored God’s commands and plans for matrimony. They reduced marriage’s perceived value.

Divorce proves just as controversial today as in Jesus’ time, and our culture also believes marriage disposable for virtually any selfish cause. Within the church, in fact, divorces are considered an acceptable out whether abuse is involved, neglect is to blame, or just because one person grows tired of the other or finds someone else more appealing. In light of this, modern believers need a revised understanding of why God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). We need to recognize that He intended marriage to last a lifetime. A divinely created, exclusive covenant relationship between a man and woman, marriage provides a picture of the loving, selfless relationship God creates between Christ and His church. When we enter the sacred bond before God, He expects us to remain committed. We must not trivialize this God-ordained institution.

As the victim of divorce, I’m keenly aware of the painful ramifications it brings. I learned firsthand that because of humanity’s fallen condition, marriages do sometimes dissolve; in some cases, a marriage will fall apart in spite of a husband or wife’s best efforts to stay. But out of my experience comes a new appreciation for why Jesus placed such emphasis on a married couple continuing on together. He knew the shockwave that inevitably follows a breakup, and He recognized that if both partners would just forgive each other, faithfully loving in spite of faults, they could thrive with His help.

Christ’s theme of heart-righteousness continues throughout this passage of the Sermon on the Mount. According to Jesus, the hardness of our hearts proves
the fundamental cause of divorce. I think it safe to say that in every divorce one or both parties suffer from hardness of heart. The root causes of selfishness and a lack of willingness to forgive are the primary reasons that so few seek reconciliation, choosing instead to rationalize their choice to part. Our tendency to divorce reveals a deep and sad spiritual issue: we often choose to do what we want instead of living in submission to God’s purpose for marriage.

The Lord designed the marital bond to be both good and lasting. Kingdom living is about submitting to His ways, serving, and following Him. We need to
recognize that a flippant view of marriage indicates sinfulness and should remind us of our desperate need of a Savior. Jesus promises so much more than
an eternity with Him: He wants to redeem and restore our families. A merciful and gracious Savior stands ready to forgive our marital failures and to lead us
to repent of any attitudes that fail to align with God’s plans for marriage. No matter our backgrounds and stories, may we learn to treat the beautiful
institution of marriage with the respect God intended.

Apply It.

Read Hebrews 13:4. Consider the strength of your regard for marriage. If you are married, list intentional steps you might take to protect the sanctity of
your relationship with your spouse. If you are divorced, seek God’s wisdom and comfort in dealing with the hurt. In either situation, ask God to show you how the marriage union demonstrates Christ’s love for His bride, the church.

*This is an excerpt from Captivated by the King and His Kingdom: A Personal Encounter with the Sermon on the Mount published by Crossbooks in 2010. The links for this book are:

Amazon in book form – http://www.amazon.com/Captivated-King-His-Kingdom-Encounter/dp/1615073418/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1302820767&sr=8-1    

Amazon Kindle – http://www.amazon.com/Captivated-King-His-Kingdom-ebook/dp/B004KAA9UC/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=books&qid=1302820767&sr=8-2

Barnes and Noble in book form – http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Captivated-by-the-King-and-His-Kingdom/Linden-C-Wolfe/e/9781615073412/?itm=3&USRI=captivated+by+the+king

Other eReader formats – http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/33572

If you follow along with this category (albeit backwards) by the same name as the book, eventually, Lord willing, we will have walked through the Sermon on the Mount verse by verse in a devotional commentary approach. I pray that this series impacts you as much as it did me as I studied this passage and wrote this book. Grace to you!